Take out a map of the United States, and point to the LAST place you’d want to spend a vacation in December. Most sane people would point directly at the loveable rectangular state that is North Dakota.
But if you were going to brave one of the coldest, most inhospitable, windsweptiest places in the country, what would it look like? What would you find there?
Well, we’ve decided to find out – so that you don’t have to. We are Married to Adventure after all, and that means thinking outside the box when it comes to adventure travel.
Our destination for “worst vacation in the world” would be New Town – a roadside village in the northwest corner of North Dakota. New Town may as well be called Boom Town because the once basic farming community is now crawling with industrial grit – oil wells, fracking industry and long haul trucking to make it extra gnarly in the wintertime.
Why would we do this? Because occasionally it’s nice to remind yourself how good you have it. When you visit an extreme place, the harsh conditions change you. For one thing, you’ll be a lot less likely to bitch about the weather when it’s 50 degrees and raining outside.
Winter in North Dakota has an unpleasant reputation, and we got extra lucky – the season’s first storm came barreling out of the arctic the day we arrived. As we drove across the state, we watched the temperature on our rental car drop from 9 degrees to 5 to 2, and eventually below zero. But if you’ve ever been some place truly cold, you know it’s not the cold that’s the problem – it’s the wind – which in our case was more than 20 MPH, making it feel like it was -30 F.
Even locals hate this time of year. Hunting season is in the rearview mirror, and the lake ice isn’t thick enough to take advantage of ice fishing. Just walking across a parking lot makes your eyes hurt. Your nose hairs instantly freeze and you can’t take a deep breath without coughing.
We checked into New Town’s tribal casino & lodge, which was packed with rugged oil and gas workers (the poorest of whom make $3,500 per week) and tribe members (blowing through their $30,000+/yr. royalty checks).
The buffet line was full of bearded, grim looking fellows carbing up for a long day of grueling outdoor work. The bars were crowded, but the ratio of guys to girls was at least 5 to 1. As in Alaska, if you’re a female in North Dakota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
You know how they say a full moon makes people act a little crazy? I think the same can be said for those who suffer North Dakota’s first bight of winter, because the scene in the casino was out of control. During our first night, at least a half dozen people were kicked out for various drunken infractions, we witnessed two fights (plus an extremely pregnant bartender who told us that a woman tried to pick a fight with her) and hotel security had to break up a loud midnight rager on our floor.
Besides drinking and gambling (the main form of recreation in town), we drove back and forth along New Town’s single road, snapping pictures, and imagining what a tourist brochure might look like:
Come to New Town this Winter – It’s Not Just For Passin’ Through!
Fill Up at One of 3 Cenex Stations!
We have Oil Wells!
Learn to Be an Ice Road Trucker
Nothing Says Party Like a Frozen Limo!
Enjoy our Ethnic Dining
Jack and Ill?
Come For the Fracking, Stay For the Camping!
But as we neared the bridge spanning Lake Sakakawea, we saw an amazing sight. We pulled onto an overlook, and witnessed the sun dipping below the bluffs that surrounded the frozen lake. Through fine blowing snow, we noticed the sun was casting a weird light, and soon realized it was the beginnings of a rainbow – an ice rainbow. The multicolored hues stood like pillars on either side of the water. And out of the cold desolate landscape, something magical was witnessed, if only for a short while.
And this is the part of the story, when I realized that I’d been a bit of a prick for making fun of New Town. Before me was something I’d never seen before. I felt lucky to witness something that very few people can claim to have seen.
The lesson here, is that beauty can be found almost anywhere. You just have to keep an open mind, and take the time to search for it.
As I look out my window writing this, the headlights from semi trucks illuminate the pavement, and the lightweight snow skitters around, gliding laterally only an inch from the ground. The ghostly way it shifts and scatters makes it seem like dry ice fog, or sand blowing on a dune.
How many people are privileged enough to witness such a sight? I suppose it would get old if you saw it every single day, but we travelers are a fortunate lot. We can touch down in an extreme place for a small period of time before retreating to the comforts of home – in a much warmer climate.
But I will always remember the rawness of the North Dakotan winter. And the next time I visit, I will plan my vacation for January when the ice fishing season gets underway. From my shack, I will watch for my ice rainbow with a line in the water and a numb, dumb smile on my face.
Thinking of Moving To North Dakota?
You won’t be alone. North Dakota’s economy actually grew during the recession. We met contract workers from around the world like the kid from northern California working at the gas station to save money for college, the waiter who moved from Tampa and the Brazilian oil worker who failed to bring a winter coat (he jealously stroked our ski jackets while we talked).
The trickle down effect from all that drilling means that labor is in short supply. Help wanted signs abound in nearby Minot, and we heard the McDonalds was paying $15/hr. to start with a $500 signing bonus. Even better, with little to do, your cost of living is next to nothing!